What a Genocide Filmmaker, a Twitch Founder, and a Funeral Taught Me About Belonging
I didn’t expect to cry.
This was just going to be another meaningful interview for Association Chat. I had read Charles Vogl’s work and already admired his insights into community, connection, and leadership. But when we got into the subject of who shows up when life breaks your heart, I found myself transported.
Back to Missouri.
Back to a little country cemetery where my sister and I were holding a memorial service for our mother. There was dust on the ground, silence in the air, and then… there she was.
That’s what campfire people do.
They show up.
Charles calls those kinds of connections “campfire experiences.” The intimate, meaningful moments that form the glue of lifelong trust. The people we call when the worst happens. The people who would call us.
That was the moment I cried. Not when I was at the funeral. Not during the speeches. But right there, in the interview, retelling that scene to Charles, remembering how Lisa appeared, unannounced, with nothing but her presence, and it cracked something open. Because that’s when I felt it. That’s when I understood what real belonging feels like.
When I talked to Charles, I wasn’t just interviewing an acclaimed author or a global advisor. I was talking to someone who had lived the extremes of service and solitude. A man who went from working in radical homeless shelters in Southern California to helping launch global communities with Twitch and Google. A man who’s been shaped by everything from Peace Corps hunger seasons in Zambia to producing a PBS film about genocide survivors.
And the one thing that stuck with him through it all?
That no one heals, grows, or survives alone.
He told me, “None of us could do this work unless we did it together.”
That phrase lingered in the air like a quiet vow.
It made me think about the association world, where we talk about community so much, but often confuse connection with cocktail receptions and noisy networking.
Charles doesn’t mince words about that.
“You’ve never sat at a 10-person table at a conference and thought, ‘Wow, I had a deep, vulnerable conversation with everyone here.’”
He’s right. If anything, you just hope for one good conversation that isn’t hijacked by distractions.
Which brings us to the phones.
Charles shared that just having your phone visible erodes connection.
“We are one hair away from worshipping the phone,” he said.
That stung a little. But then he offered a ritual: the phone basket. A physical way to vote with your hands and choose to be present with the people in the room, not just the ones pinging your lock screen.
He told me about organizations that invite him in to help foster real connection, only to resist the very things that make it possible.
“They panic when I say phones need to go away,” he said.
“But then, after 10 years of doing this, guess how many actual emergencies came up? Zero.”
Let that sink in.
We’ve replaced depth with convenience.
But when crisis hits, convenience doesn’t show up with a casserole or a hug. Your campfire people do.
Have you ever looked around a crowded event and felt lonelier than when you walked in?
Are you confusing networking with nurturing?
When was the last time you truly honored the growth and resilience of your members with silence, with ritual, or with meaning?
Here are 3 practical ways to bring Charles Vogl’s timeless wisdom into your association’s everyday work:
-
Create true “campfire” experiences. Don’t just plan events—design small, meaningful gatherings. Use settings, sound, and intention to foster trust. Five people talking is connection. Fifteen is fragmentation.
-
Ritual matters. Honor member milestones not with efficiency, but with intention. Whether it’s welcoming newcomers, celebrating resilience, or acknowledging leadership transitions—slow down. Make it sacred. Even a simple “welcome circle” can change someone’s trajectory.
-
Silence is not awkward. It’s essential. In your meetings or retreats, allow for pauses. Let silence signal availability and presence. Stop filling every moment with noise or content. Connection grows in the quiet.
We’re not starved for content. We’re starved for meaning.
Charles reminded me that it’s not about the number of likes, or the size of your following. It’s about who walks down the road toward you when it counts.
Let’s build associations full of those kinds of people.
Let’s be those people.
Listen to the full interview on Association Chat Podcast:
Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Podpage
Watch here: https://youtu.be/SYZooJvlQ3E
